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Converts to Islaam
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My Experiences and How I Find that Islam does not Oppress Women
by Sister Noor
* If a woman
was widowed, she would always have to wear a white sari (costume), eat
vegetarian meals, cut her hair short, and never re-marry. The bride always had
to pay the dowry (bridal money) to the husband's family. And the husband could
ask for anything, irrespective of whether the bride would have difficulty giving
it.
* Not only
that, if after marriage she was not able to pay the full dowry she would be both
emotionally and physically tortured, and could end up being a victim of "kitchen
death" where the husband, or both the mother-in-law and the husband try
to set fire to the wife while she is cooking or is in the kitchen, and try to
make it look like an accidental death. More and more of these instances are
taking place. The daughter of a friend of my own father's had the same fate last
year!
* In
addition to all this, men in Hinduism are treated literally as among the gods.
In one of the religious Hindu celebrations, unmarried girls pray for and worship
an idol representing a particular god (Shira) so that they may have husbands
like him. Even my own mother had asked me to do this. This made me see that the
Hindu religion which is based on superstitions and things that have no manifest
proof , but were merely traditions which oppressed women could not be right.
Subsequently, when I came to
England to study, I thought that at least this is a country which gives equal
rights to men and women, and does not oppress them. We all have the freedom to
do as we like, I thought. Well, as I started to meet people and make new
friends, learn about this new society, and go to all the places my friends went
to in order to "socialise" (bars, dance halls, etc.). I
realised that this "equality" was not so true in practice as it
was in theory.
Outwardly,
women were seen to be given equal rights in education, work, and so forth, but
in reality women were still oppressed in a different, more subtle way. When I
went with my friends to those places they hung out at, I found everybody
interested to talk to me and I thought that was normal. But it was only later
that I realised how naïve I was, and recognised what these people were really
looking for. I soon began to feel uncomfortable, as if I was not myself: I had
to dress in a certain way so that people would like me, and had to talk in a
certain way to please them. I soon found that I was feeling more and more
uncomfortable, less and less myself, yet I could not get out. Everybody was
saying they were enjoying themselves, but I don't call this enjoying.
I think
women in this way of life are oppressed; they have to dress in a certain way in
order to please and appear more appealing, and also talk in a certain way so
people like them. During this time I had not thought about Islam, even though I
had some Muslim acquaintances. But I felt I really had to do something, to find
something that I would be happy and secure with, and would feel respected with.
Something to believe in that is the right belief, because everybody has a belief
that they live according to. If having fun by getting off with other people is
someone's belief, they do this. If making money is someone's belief, they do
everything to achieve this. If they believe drinking is one way to enjoy life
then they do it. But I feel all this leads to nowhere; no one is truly
satisfied, and the respect women are looking for is diminishing in this way.
In these
days of so called "society of equal rights", you are expected
to have a boyfriend (or you're weird!) and to not be a virgin. So this is a form
of oppression even though some women do not realise it. When I came to Islam, it
was obvious that I had finally found permanent security. A religion, a belief
that was so complete and clear in every aspect of life. Many people have a
misconception that Islam is an oppressive religion, where women are covered from
head to toe, and are not allowed any freedom or rights. In fact, women in Islam
are given more rights, and have been for the past 1400 years, compared to the
only-recently rights given to non-Muslim women in some western and some other
societies. But there are, even now, societies where women are still oppressed,
as I mentioned earlier in relation to Hindu women.
Muslim women
have the right to inheritance. They have the right to run their own trade and
business. They have the full right to ownership, property, disposal over their
wealth to which the husband has no right. They have the right to education, a
right to refuse marriage as long as this refusal is according to reasonable and
justifiable grounds. The Qur'an itself, which is the Word of God, contains many
verses commanding men to be kind to their wives and stressing the rights of
women. Islam gives the right set of rules, because they are NOT made by men, but
made by God; hence it is a perfect religion.
Quite often
Muslim women are asked why they are covered from head to toe, and are told that
this is oppression - it is not. In Islam, marriage is an important part of life,
the making of the society. Therefore, a woman should not go around showing
herself to everybody, only for her husband. Even the man is not allowed to show
certain parts of his body to none but his wife. In addition, God has commanded
Muslim women to cover themselves for their modesty:
"O
Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to
draw their cloaks (veils) over their bodies (when outdoors). That is most
convenient that they could be known as such (i.e. decent and chaste) and not
molested." (Qur'an 33:59)
If we look
around at any other society, we find that in the majority of cases women are
attacked and molested because of how they are dressed. Another point I'd like to
comment on is that the rules and regulation laid down in Islam by God do not
apply just to women but to men also. There is no intermingling and free-running
between men and women for the benefit of both. Whatever God commands is right,
wholesome, pure and beneficial to mankind; there is no doubt about that. A verse
in the Qur'an explains this concept clearly:
"Say
to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and protect their
private parts (i.e. from indecency, illegal sexual acts, etc.); that will make
for greater purity for them. And God is well aware of what they do. And say to
the believing women that they should lower their gaze and protect their
private parts (from indecency, illegal sexual intercourse, etc.); and that they
should not display their beauty and ornaments . . . " (Qur'an, Surah
Al-Nur 24:31)
When I put
on my hijab (veil), I was really happy to do it. In fact, I really want
to do it. When I put on the hijab, I felt a great sense of satisfaction and
happiness. Satisfied that I had obeyed God's command. And happy with the good
and blessings that come with it. I have felt secure and protected. In fact
people respect me more for it. I could really see the difference in behaviour
towards me.
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Converts
Sisters Brothers