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5 Mistakes which even good Parents make

  

Even the best parents are known to make mistakes. But when mistakes become a pattern it's important to weed them out! Once you identify your problem area it's easier to correct it and move on. Here are five of the most common mistakes:

1. Explaining Too Much

Yes, children need reasons for the things we ask of them. But they don't need a reason for everything. Too many reasons just encourage a child to argue and find a logical argument for each reason you give. When is it OK not to explain? When your child knows your answer without being told, when the reason will just cause an endless argument, or if the reason is too complex for your child to understand. At these times go ahead and use that time-honored jewel, "Because I said so, that's why!" Note: This is part of Islaam, we don't ask a lot of questions concerning the deen. the Prophet got angry with his companions for asking him too many question and He said this was why the people before us was destroyed before you. We listen and we obey. Encourage obedience to Allah, His Messenger and to the Parents.


2. Changing Your Mind

Of course its fine to change your mind when YOU have a valid reason. Just and can justify it and not to be of the lairs or those who are oppressors because they are in authority. Try not not to abuse your role as a Parent over your child. Don't do it to get back at your child or try not to get backed  into a corner by a persistent, annoying child who won't take no for an answer. When the pestering begins simply repeat your first answer and leave the room. End of story .If you reason for changing your mind is a valued one.


3. Yelling to be Heard

If your kids don't respond to you, do you find yourself getting louder and louder? Its easier to gain compliance by stating your request in a firm, non-nonsense voice and then following through with action. For example, if you call your child in for dinner and he doesn't come, don't raise your volume! Instead, go outside, take him by the hand and lead him into the house. If his friends are watching I guarantee it will be the last time you have to retrieve him.Insha Allah, but if at first it doesn't work give him notice of the situation coming up, Abdullah we are going to have dinner in five mins, so would please come in in five mins for dinner insha Allah. So as to not embarrass him, all the time.


4. Repeating Yourself

The more you talk, the less they hear. If you are prone to repeat your requests your children will learn to wait until your breaking point to listen. In other words, they know that if they can put up with the drone of your voice nothing bad will really happen. Make it a habit to say it once, and then take action.


5. Picking Too Many Battles

If you are fighting with your kids from sun up to sun down, I'll bet you are picking the wrong battles, There is no such thing as a perfect kid. All our kids are blessed Masha Alalh is just giving the right encouragements, because we all make mistakes. Let the little stuff slide ,insha Allah, especially if it's not contradiction to the teaching of Islaam, and use your energy to handle the important issues. When you take your stand on fewer issues, your children will be more likely to cooperate with you.  

Mini-Tip

Q: How can I stop my kids from fighting with each other?

A: You can't. Siblings have fought since the beginning of time. Take heart, though, its thought that siblings learn much about life from each other - how to negotiate, how to compromise, and how to understand the differences in people . But you can encourage them that as Muslims we should feel save with one another, we feel save from our brothers tongue , he saying bad things about me and from his hand, he hitting me. Also if you try to play nicely and say nice things you will get reward from Allah and Allah and Mommy will be please with you. And if you stop insha Allah you'll get a treat.

There are ways to direct your children's interactions so that they serve as more productive life lessons. Try these ideas:

  • Ignore the petty squabbles. If it bothers YOU ask them to take it elsewhere.

  • When the kids' argument gets out of hand, sit them on the sofa (opposite ends). Tell them they can get up when they have resolved the issue. (For younger kids, you can mediate.)

 

 


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