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THE DEDICATED MUSLIM WOMAN'S HOME PAGE Parent Tips |
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This the home page of
5 Mistakes which even good Parents make
Even the
best parents are known to make mistakes. But when mistakes become a
pattern it's important to weed them out! Once you identify your problem
area it's easier to correct it and move on. Here are five of the most
common mistakes: 1.
Explaining Too Much Yes,
children need reasons for the things we ask of them. But they don't need
a reason for everything. Too many reasons just encourage a child to
argue and find a logical argument for each reason you give. When is it
OK not to explain? When your child knows your answer without being told,
when the reason will just cause an endless argument, or if the reason is
too complex for your child to understand. At these times go ahead and
use that time-honored jewel, "Because I said so, that's why!" Note:
This is part of Islaam, we don't ask a lot of questions concerning the
deen. the Prophet got angry with his companions for asking him too many
question and He said this was why the people before us was destroyed
before you. We listen and we obey. Encourage obedience to Allah, His
Messenger and to the Parents.
Of
course its fine to change your mind when YOU have a valid reason. Just
and can justify it and not to be of the lairs or those who are
oppressors because they are in authority. Try not not to abuse your role
as a Parent over your child. Don't do it to get back at your child or
try not to get backed into a corner by a persistent, annoying
child who won't take no for an answer. When the pestering begins simply
repeat your first answer and leave the room. End of story .If you reason
for changing your mind is a valued one.
If
your kids don't respond to you, do you find yourself getting louder and
louder? Its easier to gain compliance by stating your request in a firm,
non-nonsense voice and then following through with action. For example,
if you call your child in for dinner and he doesn't come, don't raise
your volume! Instead, go outside, take him by the hand and lead him into
the house. If his friends are watching I guarantee it will be the last
time you have to retrieve him.Insha Allah, but if at first it doesn't
work give him notice of the situation coming up, Abdullah we are going
to have dinner in five mins, so would please come in in five mins for
dinner insha Allah. So as to not embarrass him, all the time.
The
more you talk, the less they hear. If you are prone to repeat your
requests your children will learn to wait until your breaking point to
listen. In other words, they know that if they can put up with the drone
of your voice nothing bad will really happen. Make it a habit to say it
once, and then take action.
If
you are fighting with your kids from sun up to sun down, I'll bet you
are picking the wrong battles, There is no such thing as a perfect kid. All
our kids are blessed Masha Alalh is just giving the right
encouragements, because we all make mistakes. Let the little stuff slide
,insha Allah, especially if it's not contradiction to the teaching
of Islaam, and use your energy to handle the important issues. When you
take your stand on fewer issues, your children will be more likely to
cooperate with you.
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More articles and updates to come soon Insha Allah
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