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How good is your Parenting Plan?
I looked for
one word to describe the parenting job. I settled on
"intricate"
when I read Webster's definition: something hard to understand
because it's full of puzzling parts and details. I can think of no
other job that requires you to be more flexible and open-minded, or
demands that you stay alert and focused day after day.
But as
intricate and complicated as the job is, not enough people spend time
creating a parenting plan. The first step to this process is to find out
where your strengths and weakness are. This quiz will help you see
yourself more clearly Insha Allah.
Find a quiet
comer and take this quiz. Be honest and thoughtful. The answers may
surprise or even embarrass you, but reviewing them can help you analyze
and improve your parenting style.
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Are
each of these statements Usually True or Usually False ? 1. Throughout
the day, I give my child choices, instead of giving orders. 2. Our
house is surrounded and the center of Islaam for my
kids. 3. My
children have daily chores. 4. My
kids are in bed at about the same time every night. 5. My
kids use "Please" and "Thank you" when they
talk to me. 6. I
use "Please" and "Thank you" when I talk to my
kids. 7. My
instructions tend to be brief and specific (I don't lecture.) 8. I
don't give in to a child's nagging, whining and pleading. 9. We
have specific family rules. 10. When
I say it I mean it. My kids know this and they do as I ask. 11. My
kids clean up their own messes. 12. Our
family eats dinner together. 13. I
trust my children. 14. I
am consistent in the things that I say "no" or
"yes" to. 15. When
a problem occurs, we address it, and then it's over. 16. I
compliment my children twice as often as I criticize them. 17. I'm
involved in Islamic or other activities. 18. The
last words I say to my children at night are pleasant and loving.
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These
statements reflect parenting skills that together create a strong
parenting plan. The best answer to each of these questions is
"Usually True". Take some time to ponder any statement to
which you have answered "Usually False". Ask yourself why the
preferred answer is True. Determine what changes you can make in your
family to better reflect the concepts presented in each statement.
Sometimes the
decisions we make when parenting our children are not really decisions
at all - but more like knee-jerk reactions. It takes time and effort to
create and follow a good parenting plan. Its well worth the effort,
since a good plan will make your daily decisions easier and help you be
more consistent with your kids. The end result is: calmer parents and
well-behaved children. Insha Allah
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