Lets use this example as some thing that may happen at a  Eid celebrations:

Mother: We need to get going. Please stop playing and get your hijaab on.
Maryam: Not yet, Mom.
Mother: Now. Let's get moving.
Maryam: I'm not ready to go yet.
Mother: Young lady, when I say it's time to go I want you to listen.
Maryam: (Continues playing, ignoring her.)
Mother: Maryam! If you don't get ready to go this instant I'm taking one of your toys away at home!
Maryam: (Ignores her.)
Mother: Okay Marayam. Make that two toys. (Long pause) Three toys!
Maryam: Okay, Mom, cut it out. I'll come in a minute.
Mother: Four toys, and I mean it!
Maryam: (Begins to laughing around with a friend.)
Mother: (Grumbles something incomprehensible and sits down in a chair.)

What went wrong ?????

Maryam's frustrated mother broke two very important parenting rules. They are:

1) Take charge!
2) Use rules and routines.

It's very obvious that Maryam and her mother do not have a clear understanding of who's in charge. Maybe variations on this scene occur on a daily basis between them. The good news is that it's a problem that CAN be fixed Insha Allah.

The first step is for Mother to allow herself the position of control in the relationship. She must believe that it is her right and responsibility to take charge during Maryam's growing years. She must then convey this message to her in her words and actions. HOW?

• Learn and use parenting skills.
• Have a discipline plan.
• Say what you mean, mean what you say, and follow through!

So how do you get her to get ready without a scene?
First, by understanding the kid. She's having fun. You're spoiling it. It's hard for kids to switch gears on a dime, particularly if they are doing something fun (playing with her best friend) and it's Eid, and must leave to do something not so fun (go home). When you burst into their fun saying, "Time to go" it's hard for a child to immediately comply.

How can you "be in charge" and acknowledge the child's needs at the same time? Easy. On a regular basis use the "5 ... 3 ... l...Go!" skill. Let's re-write the grisly scene at the Eid celebrations using this idea:

Mother: Maryam, we're leaving in five minutes Insha Allah.
Maryam: Okay.
(About 2 minutes pass as Marayam continues to play with her friend.)
Mother: Marayam, we're leaving in three minutes Insha Allah.
(A few more minutes pass.)
Mother: Marayam, we're leaving in one minute Insha Allah. Do you want to take one more slide, and give salaams to your friend? 
(Marayam takes one more slide with her friend and give salaams and look round to see Mom holding her hijjab for her to get ready)
Mother: Okay, Maryam, let's go now Insha Allah.
The keys to making this work are:

• Use this method daily for all kinds of events - dinner, bath time, bedtime, leaving the house, starting an activity ...
• When you say "Go" you mean "Go - NOW". Make it clear and follow through. After some practice your kids will get used to the idea and respond promptly.
• Modify your approach based on your child's age and personality. For instance, with an older child you might say, "It's 2:45 and we're leaving at 3:00 sharp, please be ready to go."