Winning the Chore War

"How many times do I have to remind you to take out the trash?"

Sound familiar? Household jobs are a part of every family's daily life, yet they tend to create ongoing conflict. Give yourself a pat on the back if you assign your kids chores. It's an important way kids learn responsibility. Children as young as two can help out around the house. Here are a few pointers for making the process easier on everybody.

Have a plan.

Kids thrive on routine. It's best if they have routine chores that they do at regular times. For instance, clearing the table is always done right after eating. Trash is taken out immediately after kitchen clean up. Bed is made right after dressing The Salaat is done everyday The wearing of the Hijaab is for every time you go out.. The more you develop these routines, the less reminding you will have to do. (And when you do remind it can be a brief statement: "Trash time!") With more than one child you can rotate chores, but keep in mind it will take extra effort to develop new routines. Visual reminders help kids stay on track. A poster, chart or job-board can help kids stay focused.

Train and encourage.

Use a four step process when introducing a new job. First, you do the job, narrating as you work, while the child watches. Next, do the job together. Third, the child does the job while you watch, coach and encourage. Fourth, the child is ready to go it alone. If you eliminate training you open the door for battles since you will both be operating under separate expectations This idea can be use for wudu, Salaat, specific du'as which as said all the time, like sleep, going out eating, bathroom, learning the Quraan, showing how to wear the hijaab properly..

Follow through.

Once you decide on a plan, do your best to stick to it every day. If you allow excuses and delays then you'll find yourself fighting with your child. If you have a kid who fights the routine, establish a consequence for failure to complete chores, and follow through without anger or threats.

Who Does What?

Here's a list of ideas to get you thinking about what your kids are capable of doing. Don't underestimate your children! The same child who runs a complicated computer can certainly manage the washer and dryer Insha Allah!