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 Choosing Consequences 

It can be very hard to decide on an appropriate consequence when your child misbehaves. Here are a few ideas to help you through the process. Use these as guidelines, and modify them to suit the child and the situation.

 

Misbehavior: Child leaves for school in the morning without doing Salaat.

Consequence: As, soon as he gets in let him do, reminds him of the importance of this duty in a gentle but firm way, don't shout let him know that you are anger and that this angers Allah, then let your child do one of your chores after school.

Misbehavior: Child says rude comment at parent

Consequence: Tape your child's allowance in coins on a piece of cardboard and hang it on the refrigerator. Each time your child says it tear off a quarter. His allowance is what's left at the end of the week. Let him know this is been disrespectful and emphasize the honor a mother has in Islaam.  

Misbehavior: Your child's toys and belongings are left cluttered around the house.

Consequence: Pick up all clutter and put it in a "Saturday Box' sort of a "toy-time-out." Allow the kids to have return of the contents in the box each Saturday, or if they need it sooner, they can complete a chore to earn the item's return.

Misbehavior: Your child does not put away the bicycle/roller blades) skateboard, but leaves it outside.

Consequence: Lock up the possession - for one or two days. Review specific rules for future care.

Misbehavior: Your child hits/ bites/scratches/hurts a sibling.

Consequence: Impose a fine on the aggressor a previously agreed-to amount. Payment goes to the °victim" and must be handed over with an apology. Another idea is to have the child do one chore for the injured sibling, such as make his bed, or take out his trash., pack up their room by himself.

Misbehavior: Child continually acts inappropriately at the dinner times.

Consequence: Excuse child from table and let him/her have dinner in the kitchen, by himself.

Misbehavior: When your keeps on getting him/herself, dirty for no good reason. You end up with mountains of laundry.

Consequence: Teach her how to do him/her own laundry. Include house rules (like minimum load size, and what to do with the load she finds in the washer.) A child who can master computer can certainly run the washer and dryer. Insha Allah.

Misbehavior: Children are fighting in the back seat of the car.

Consequence: Calmly pull over to the side of the road, cross your arms and wait. (Maybe you've heard this idea before, but have you ever done it?) It works best if you are quiet. Yelling louder than they are rarely helps and say who will not be allowed to go out for two days with us. Or maybe they don't want to put their seat belt on so make them in charge of making sure that everyone has their seat belt on.  

Keep these guidelines in mind when applying consequences for misbehavior. To be effective, consequences should be:

·         Fair and reasonable.

·         Related to the misbehavior.

·         Imposed and carried out with minimum emotion.

Consistent with family rules, discipline and Islamic values.

 


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